Putting My Dreams On Hold Again

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I've been incredibly busy and overwhelmed. With my sister's 21st birthday coming up, personal projects and school, I find myself locked and tied, yet again. Some heavy anchors and locks, some ribbons and heart strings. They said life would get easier, you'll have time to be who you are one day. I thought one day the sacrifices and regrets would make sense. But 5 years later, I only realised, life doesn't get easier, you only get stronger and most of the time, good things don't come twice. Sometimes the only thing you can do is move on from mistakes when you find yourself repeating them over and over again. 


I don't really know where I'm going with this post. I'm just itching to write something, anything at all. It's no secret that I have a problem with commitment and hence all the short stories that I never finish because my mind is buzzing with too many ideas. I'd post the half-hearted writings, maybe finish them someday. 


Dear readers, I need to put my dreams on hold again, because I've jumped into another zone where I'm not sure I'll be happy but I just want to give myself another chance to see it through. It sure will make m parents happy, so at least there's something good coming out of it.


I just need to remind myself about the things that I know I actually love and enjoy. It's easy for me to get lost and forget. 


I fell in love with watching BoJack Horseman. It makes me feel like someone actually has empathy for people like me, people who does really stupid and shitty things but deep down, really wants to be a good person. I really don't have time to watch it so I usually try to fit in with the time doing chores.


Time, time, time. It's the root of all the existential crisis and mental problems. If time doesn't continue moving, if I get 10 more years of staying 22, I'd probably have a chance of becoming great and happy.


That's all for now. Just a speech while I'm being sucked into the vortex of the rat race again. Life of idling in sunshine, pursuing passions and love exists only for other people. 
I love to carve my mind into words, to trace my heart on paper. Here, to type as my voice sings inside my head. Embarking on an adventure of self acceptance, self love, self improvement and soul searching. I wish to share it, the ups and downs. Perhaps I could inspire someone to finally start their overdue pilgrimage, or to be a friend to someone who is on the same hike. Expect personal stories, lessons learned, controversial opinions, fanfictions, honest reviews and emotional rants. You can call me Tortoise! FUN FACTS ABOUT ME: *Age:23 (still as confuse as ever!) *Zodiac sign:Cancer *Personality: INFP-T *Goodreads:https://www.goodreads.com/tortoiseteoh

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