Movie Review: Soul

(Pixar)

Pixar has done it again. Sending me into a sleepless night of pensiveness after a good cry. Surprisingly, this movie did not trigger sadness which would trip myself into a depressive state like I expected, instead at some point through the movie, it's like light was switched on, illuminating the dark storage in my mind of what I actually understand. The movie did not teach me anything new about life, it reminded me of what life is.

(Pinterest)

There's a genre called 'New Adult' as the world starts to recognise the existential crisis people in their early twenties to thirties are experiencing. I'm in that phase and I'm constantly anxious about finding my 'purpose' in life. Sometimes I cannot shrug off the feeling that I fall short to live this life. Although this movie does not enlighten or inspire me as to what my purpose could be, it tells me it's okay and  reminds me I can be happy even without one. The movie starts with Joe who is so in love with music, full of sense of purpose in life. I love music but I don't love it that intensely. I was so down because I could not relate to him, but then 22 showed up, asking the questions I want answered. 

(Pinterest)

22 cannot find her purpose and is afraid to live. Her blase attitude is one I am familiar with as a facade to cover up real desires. It's easier to accept what we could not get or who we are when we convince ourselves that we didn't want it anyways. When Joe finally gets the gig and his life purpose seems to be finally blossoming, I couldn't help feeling giddy and hopeful with him. But I knew he is going to die before he even gets on stage, because that's life's cruel way of breaking people and partly because I've watched the trailer.

(Pinterest)

Joe says 'My life was meaningless' when he is walking through his Museum of life and all he can see are failures. I felt that. Sometimes I have that walk too. I go through every embarassing things I've done and every failures, self-doubt seeping into my soul, wondering how I will ever survive in this world being someone I am. But actually, I was just stuck in the 'Failures section' of the museum, forgetting that life is more than that, my life is more than that. I believe many of us go through that sometimes, sometimes we become like the Lost Souls in the movie, the voices of our own inner demons, drowning out our own.

The depiction of the Lost Souls were amazing and struck a chord with me. The Lost Souls take different monstrous dark forms, shadows with their heads bowed and they attack other people but perplexedly run away from everyone at the same time. I've talked about something similar in my older post 'Hurt People Hurt People'. Dark and disfigured because you don't really know who you are anymore, engulfed in self-hatred. Heads bowed because you cannot see clearly and you don't want to. Attacking people and running away at the same time because you're angry, hurt, scared and of course lost. 

In the movie, Joe says he would die a happy man if he finally got to fulfil his dream of performing with Dorothea Williams, becoming a professional Jazz player. And when he died, he says he is not supposed to die when his life is just begining. Why is his life just beginning at that point?  But I had also made the same mistake of putting my life on hold. 

Our mistake is in focusing too much on what life is supposed to be, or how we are supposed to turn out, being afraid it wouldn't go as planned. But life is not a game, there's no one rule to follow and there are no 'levels' to go to. We go through stages and phases of life, but we don't need to win at a certain level to finally start cherishing the little things, we don't need a medal or approval to continue living. 

(Pinterest)

The scene at the end, when again, he looks back at his life, the mundane things of listening to songs with his father, his feet in the water at the beach, cycling beneath the trees and sitting in the train. I cried the most at that part, because it reminded me about my own life and how many of those relatable moments made me happy. I cried too because I really want to go to the beach or sit in a cafe.

(Pinterest)
I've always loved looking out the window, it's irresistable for a hopeless romantic like me

Just thinking about the scene where Joe accepts his death and holds 22's hand diving to earth makes me cry. Joe is still so young and there is still so much more to life even though he has successfully achieved his goal in life at that point. There are still so many goals he can strive for, so many more things to love. When he lets go of 22's hand and that look of his face saying it's sad but it's okay, I had to wail, I just had to.

(Buzzfeed)

There are a lot of messages behind this movie and it has a lot to do with the meaning of life, the ever prevalent question of existential crisis. Purpose and spark are different. Purpose is why are you here, while spark is what makes you happy, at least this is what I understand. Don't try to draw a bold and thick line between the two, you don't even need to. And even if you don't know your spark, or your purpose in life, you don't need to wait to live, eat that pizza and wear that dress boo.

(Pinterest)

P.S. To get the music playing accurately animated, actual musicians were recorded playing with cameras set up to capture from every possible angle. The notes and the keys they played were exactly what we were hearing (based on experts). Let's take a moment to appreciate the dedication of Pixar to provide us a high quality movie to cry over.

(The New York Times)