Scatteredfafa

I have arrived again at a crossroad. The arrow signs are crooked and unwieldy. My compass has gone haywire and I can feel the invisible tugs coming from every direction. A choice has to be made, but my heart is heavy and my legs refuse to take another step forward nor backward. It's a strange predicament to be in. Knowing the sky is the limit but yet struggling to fight off the feeling of being chained and restrained. I've been standing at the same intersection for some time, trying to calm the nerves that frizzled at every bird that flutters past and to hold on to hope that dwindles at every light that dims. Time flies, ignoring my silent hopeless pleas of stopping just for me, a wretchedly lost girl.  And so I come, to the comfort of words, to listen to my heart. I've come back to swim in the swirl of my thoughts. I shall now sit and listen at the crossroad. Soon, I'll see my path and walk it with faith. 

(Tortoise) Have you ever felt angry or sad because of something someone did or said? Going through all the details again to find an answer for why things turned out the way it did, asking God for the thousandth time, what went wrong? Sometimes, there's clearly nothing you can do about it. As much as the truth hurts, you have to admit that deep down you know they couldn't care less what you think or feel. Neither confrontation nor heart-to-heart is an option. The only option is to let it go and move on and closure is one you need to give yourself. I've found a method that works for me: write. Write everything you want to say in a letter, full of anger and as raw as slicing your own skin and flesh. Pour everything, don't leave anything out, be as flowery or blunt as you want, swear till your heart's content. Then when you're done and ready, wipe your tears away like you're smearing war paint across your cheeks, and never send it out. Have a funeral for all tho...

(Pinterest) A love story about divorce. Some scenes were very hard for me to watch or understand. I wanted to yell and judge both of them but the single and self-consciously naive me would shush me. The divorce in this movie is certainly complex, or are all divorces this way? I thought it was just a final showdown for two people who hate each other leaving a mess for the children. I did not expect divorce could be a narrative of romance. Charlie and Nicole clearly love each other very much. I really do blame the lawyers. I really hated the lawyers. They keep pushing them to hate each other and assume the worst of the other. They 'advise' them to make deadly strikes when they say they don't want to. I hated Nicole at some point. Why does she have to get a lawyer? They decided to end their marriage without one and nothing changed that such a need arose. The court room scene was the hardest thing for me to watch. They clearly feel embarassed and guilty to put each other throug...

(Pinterest) Titanic was not a love story, it was a tragedy.  It happened in 1912, even older than World War 2. So many tragedies happened since time immemorial. So why do I find this history... fascinating? Like everyone else, I came to know about Titanic through the movie and when Mr Bean played with his toy boat in the bath. The story of Jack and Rose romanticised the tragedy but I think it's a good way to bring awareness to the history. Although it's one of my favourite movies, the real story behind the ship that sank on its maiden voyage, is the one which held me captive.  There's probably nothing mysterious, what happened has been explained. The Titanic hit an iceberg where the impact caused a gash in the hull and the compartments flooded. There was insufficient lifeboats and many were not loaded to full capacity due to panic and disorder, but even if there was efficient evacuation conducted, the lifeboats were still not enough to save all the passengers. Although this...