Scatteredfafa

Two best friends laid horizontally across the bed, with their legs up against the wall and their hair fanning around them. The occasional sound of lonely cars racing along the dark highway outside, reminding them time has not stopped during their pensiveness. The silence between them was understanding and comfortable, an invisible message hanging in the air: "I'm here for you".  Telulah turned her head to the left and looked at Fiona, who was so still as if she was holding her breath, afraid to disturb the peaceful night. She poked her friend's face, relieved that she was still alive.  "If I'm ever reborn, not that I would want to come to this goddamn world again, I want to be a dog", Telulah said with a deadpan expression, her voice croaking a little at the start. Her delicate eyelashes still wet and crumpled from the weight of her overflown tears. Fiona, continued staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars scattered on the ceiling, afraid to look at her fri...

I have not been writing much. I've been talking to myself more. Trying to understand what is this weight that makes my heart so heavy. I feel like an outsider, a third party watching life happen around me. It feels like I'm on a rickety bridge of uncertainty, afraid to risk that run to either side of the bridge. I just stare at the churning water below, wondering what I should do next, trying to convince myself if I can be brave enough to jump, I might find myself having wings.  I'm anchored, by what, I don't know. A mime trapped by her own box.  I think I need a push.

(Pixar) Pixar has done it again. Sending me into a sleepless night of pensiveness after a good cry. Surprisingly, this movie did not trigger sadness which would trip myself into a depressive state like I expected, instead at some point through the movie, it's like light was switched on, illuminating the dark storage in my mind of what I actually understand. The movie did not teach me anything new about life, it reminded me of what life is. (Pinterest) There's a genre called 'New Adult' as the world starts to recognise the existential crisis people in their early twenties to thirties are experiencing. I'm in that phase and I'm constantly anxious about finding my 'purpose' in life. Sometimes I cannot shrug off the feeling that I fall short to live this life. Although this movie does not enlighten or inspire me as to what my purpose could be, it tells me it's okay and  reminds me I can be happy even without one. The movie starts with Joe who is so in lo...