Scatteredfafa

I'm in a dilemma. Well, my own dilemma caused by personal overthinking. The story is as such. I have a friend who came to ask me how often do I talk to my sister (I call her Sissy). Surprisingly at that exact same time, I was just telling Sissy about the ugly hoodie my other sister (I call her Salini) has bought. The video call lasted for about 3 hours, and when I was done, I came back to my friend's 38 messages telling me about how upset she is about her sister. A summary of it is basically, she misses her sister but she thinks her sister doesn't love her as much as she does. I don't really know her sister and I don't think it's true, but I know the only person who can verify and make her feel better is her sister. 心病终须心药治 解铃还须系铃人.  Why do I find this very distressing? Because I'm very tempted to intervene. I'm just chaotic in the way that I don't want to just provide comfort to people, I want to go all the way brainstorming and solving the issues p...

No spoilers. It will take too long.  To be honest, I used to be a sceptic of anime, but I appreciate beautiful things, and even though I do agree anime can be aesthetically pleasing, their movies never appealed much to me. Firstly, because I don't like japanese language, I just don't like the sound of it. Secondly, I don't like the lack of diversity and the perfection that seem to be portrayed in anime. Understandibly, it's their uniqueness and very much culture related, but if it bothers me, I am allowed to not love it. Anyways, I am one who's willing to try out new things, and my friends have talked about it enough that I'm intrigued. Unexpectedly, about 15 minutes into the movie, regret has already caught up with me for not watching this sooner. What do I love most about the movie? The storyline and of course the artistic pleasure. I've watched the trailer and thought I had an inkling of what the movie was about but I was set for a surprise, and I enjoyed...

Too much to say, but everything can be summarised in one sentence: I love my squad so much and I'm just so damn lucky to have them. 2019 Christmas The last time the 6 of us were together The people standing, from the left: Joey, Joxin, and the Goddess. The aunties on their asses, from the left: Dajie, Bina, jxjx.  I've always liked to hang around behind, secretly taking photos of them.  They've always had my back even when I don't like myself.  Despite all the mistakes I've made, I must have done something right to have them in my life. P.S. Our group name is 大姐派对, literal translation is Big Sisters Party.

(AcousticTrench) My heart melts everytime I see her. Now when I watch the videos, I cry. Such an angel. There's a youtube channel called 'Acoustic Trench'  where a talented musician bless us with videos of him playing the guitar, sometimes the kalimba or the harp with his dog by his side. The first video I watched was him playing 'Can't help falling in love with you' on the kalimba and Maple was in the background enjoying the windy day, with maple leaves strewn all over the grass. It immediately gained me as a subscriber.  On a random day(yesterday), I randomly sent a video of them that I was watching to my friend, and she told me Maple has passed away last week, it was posted on their instagram. It's now the second day of knowing that and I still can't believe it. Mapel was such an angel. I wish the human all the best. I'm going to miss Maple. If you want to cry, here's the video of the human playing 'What a Wonderful World' saying goo...

(Tortoise) Bought it from a thrift shop in Penang In the Tales Of Beedle The Bard by J.K Rowling, there's a story called ' The Warlock's Hairy Heart ' which I think is the most gruesome yet the best fairytale I've ever read. You can click on the title to get the PDF version, or read the summary by yours truly here. To my friends and family, I'll be happy to lend you the book too. Here it goes: (Crude version) There was a warlock (Basically a very powerful wizard) who saw how his friends became stupid when they fell in love. He did not like being stupid, so he cut opened his heart and kept it under lock and key in the dungeon. He was very pleased and praised himself for not having any feelings. He pitied his friends who had children. When his parents died, he thought that was a blessing. But one day, he overheard his servants questioning how he was unable to attract anyone and the warlock took this very personally as an insult. Thus, he decided to find and marry ...

(Tortoise) Capturing the beauty I see through my eyes. Here is the link to the song - Late Night Melancholy . You should listen to it while you read this. I've never thought "hmmm, hmmm, hmmm, hmmmmmm, hmm" would be my favourite song, but it is, and I'm writing to say how much I love it. I wish I could listen to this song on the train. Everytime I'm listening to the song (which is 24 hours since it's on loop non-stop in my mind), I imagine myself as a swaying tree with flowers snowing down or a drugged hippie in my own world. It fills me up with melancholy as its name promises. Sometimes the 'tearful and life is meaningless' kind of melancholy, and sometimes the 'everything happens for a reason and I'm where I'm meant to be' kind of melancholy. It makes me miss people, the ones I knew and strangers I don't even know. I hate it but love it at the same time. I guess I'm addicted to being sad for no obvious reasons, crying is catha...

I had a video call with a close friend for more than 2 hours and then jumped from one chat box to the other. I was only talking to a few people on the same day, and now I'm ready to slam every door I can find and ask the whole world to shut up. Really dramatic. I don't know how people do this. I've seen my sisters' chat boxes and how she's always on the phone, the amount of notifications alone is enough to give me anxiety.  I love my family and friends, I really do, but catching up can be so tiring! Socialising for too long switches on my bitch mode (Okay, bitchier mode). In real life, I would just stare at everyone without saying anything, being passive aggresive, now I just ignore people. Do I feel bad for being like that? I do. But I can't help it. I get so angry I don't even want to look at the people I'm with. Sometimes I think I only enjoy reading text messages from people, anecdotes of what they've been up to, but I don't like replying. I...