Scatteredfafa

(Tortoise) Have you ever felt angry or sad because of something someone did or said? Going through all the details again to find an answer for why things turned out the way it did, asking God for the thousandth time, what went wrong? Sometimes, there's clearly nothing you can do about it. As much as the truth hurts, you have to admit that deep down you know they couldn't care less what you think or feel. Neither confrontation nor heart-to-heart is an option. The only option is to let it go and move on and closure is one you need to give yourself. I've found a method that works for me: write. Write everything you want to say in a letter, full of anger and as raw as slicing your own skin and flesh. Pour everything, don't leave anything out, be as flowery or blunt as you want, swear till your heart's content. Then when you're done and ready, wipe your tears away like you're smearing war paint across your cheeks, and never send it out. Have a funeral for all tho...

I've finished 11 seasons of Modern Family. What am I supposed to do with my life now? *SOBS Modern Family tells the story of 3 extended family. Jay and his young wife, Gloria with her son, Manny. Claire and her husband, Phill with their three children, Hailey, Alex and Luke. Mitch and Cam with their adopted daughter, Lily. Mitch and Claire are Jay's children.  I don't get obssessed with TV series and I have the bad habit of skipping or increasing playback speed when I watch something, but this is the only one show that I savoured every single second and paused when I'm getting food. As per the title of the show, it shows an unconventional family set up. Gays, age-gap and young parents.  The best thing I love about this show is their relationship. They have a family bond that I'm very envious of and they are the depiction of the American Dream. Although they can be chaotic at times, arguing and trying to avoid family gatherings, they still love each other and at the ...

Before the pandemic, I used to wake up at 4am. I was very much deeply entangled in the 'Hustle Culture' (Which drove me crazy, but this is a story for another day). But because of the depressive state of being in a pandemic and a competition which required me to stay up late, my sleep schedule has gone into disarray and  I have turned into a perpetually yawning sloth. It made me feel horrible and great at the same time. Being sleepy must be one of the greatest pleasure in life. It's equivalent to being drunk to me. I'd confess to crimes I didn't do when I'm sleepy.  Anyways, I still like mornings better. Sleeping in makes me feel irresponsible and days seem ridiculously shorter. I don't want to waste my youth on sleeping, I get to do that when I die. And of course, sleeping and waking up earlier is essential to be in the pink of health. I'm happy to say that I'm back to a sleep pattern that I like. I've gotten this idea to write this because my f...

I'm in a dilemma. Well, my own dilemma caused by personal overthinking. The story is as such. I have a friend who came to ask me how often do I talk to my sister (I call her Sissy). Surprisingly at that exact same time, I was just telling Sissy about the ugly hoodie my other sister (I call her Salini) has bought. The video call lasted for about 3 hours, and when I was done, I came back to my friend's 38 messages telling me about how upset she is about her sister. A summary of it is basically, she misses her sister but she thinks her sister doesn't love her as much as she does. I don't really know her sister and I don't think it's true, but I know the only person who can verify and make her feel better is her sister. 心病终须心药治 解铃还须系铃人.  Why do I find this very distressing? Because I'm very tempted to intervene. I'm just chaotic in the way that I don't want to just provide comfort to people, I want to go all the way brainstorming and solving the issues p...

No spoilers. It will take too long.  To be honest, I used to be a sceptic of anime, but I appreciate beautiful things, and even though I do agree anime can be aesthetically pleasing, their movies never appealed much to me. Firstly, because I don't like japanese language, I just don't like the sound of it. Secondly, I don't like the lack of diversity and the perfection that seem to be portrayed in anime. Understandibly, it's their uniqueness and very much culture related, but if it bothers me, I am allowed to not love it. Anyways, I am one who's willing to try out new things, and my friends have talked about it enough that I'm intrigued. Unexpectedly, about 15 minutes into the movie, regret has already caught up with me for not watching this sooner. What do I love most about the movie? The storyline and of course the artistic pleasure. I've watched the trailer and thought I had an inkling of what the movie was about but I was set for a surprise, and I enjoyed...

Too much to say, but everything can be summarised in one sentence: I love my squad so much and I'm just so damn lucky to have them. 2019 Christmas The last time the 6 of us were together The people standing, from the left: Joey, Joxin, and the Goddess. The aunties on their asses, from the left: Dajie, Bina, jxjx.  I've always liked to hang around behind, secretly taking photos of them.  They've always had my back even when I don't like myself.  Despite all the mistakes I've made, I must have done something right to have them in my life. P.S. Our group name is 大姐派对, literal translation is Big Sisters Party.

(AcousticTrench) My heart melts everytime I see her. Now when I watch the videos, I cry. Such an angel. There's a youtube channel called 'Acoustic Trench'  where a talented musician bless us with videos of him playing the guitar, sometimes the kalimba or the harp with his dog by his side. The first video I watched was him playing 'Can't help falling in love with you' on the kalimba and Maple was in the background enjoying the windy day, with maple leaves strewn all over the grass. It immediately gained me as a subscriber.  On a random day(yesterday), I randomly sent a video of them that I was watching to my friend, and she told me Maple has passed away last week, it was posted on their instagram. It's now the second day of knowing that and I still can't believe it. Mapel was such an angel. I wish the human all the best. I'm going to miss Maple. If you want to cry, here's the video of the human playing 'What a Wonderful World' saying goo...