Deleting Old Posts

 Oh Woah Wow, I've just read back my last post, sounds so vulnerable. What was I doing? It's fine. I don't feel like deleting it. I need to practise what I preach, that vulnerability is good. It may help someone and let them know that it's okay to feel what they feel and it's perfectly normal. I used to think being sad was pathetic which I know is an extreme case of dehumanising.

I said what I said and I still love me on days when I am more emotional. Today is one of those days when I'm feeling extremely good and confident. I've just listened to a podcast and I'm feeling empowered. The comments section was flooded with girls supporting each other. I love it when we have each other's back, not stabbing them. 

I actually have prepared a few blog posts, ready to go but a new topic has popped up at this point which I think is quite an interesting one. What to do when we no longer like what we posted? 

Well, we can definitely delete them, that's our freedom of choice. I used to delete my posts when I no longer feel like they resonate with who I am or becoming. People change and I know I've changed so many times in my entire life, both physically and mentally. We change when we grow up and growing up is a lifelong process. One day we might not find ourselves that excited about Spongebob or we don't support a certain political party anymore. When I go through phases like that, I always felt the need to clear all my posts and start afresh. "No one can know I used to say this" or "I'm no longer friends with this person, every trace of her must be erased". Sometimes it's just simply that I want them gone because I don't like that I've posted so much.

Now that I'm older, I wish I hadn't done that. I would love to read what young Tortoise used to write and understand how she used to feel. I want to find out what drama she caused or exposed and applaud her for learning from them. Time has chipped away memories of such crucial details. I still find myself being surprised when I read back something I posted just few weeks ago. 

Now that I'm older and wiser, I would advise you not to delete old posts. Leave them be. You can start a new chapter without deleting your past. If it's too cringy to bear, take a screenshot or find a way to save them, one day you'll be glad you've created this time capsule for you to laugh at yourself or just to reminisce who you were and remember or realise how much you love her/him/they. 

Future me might disagree with what I wrote today, but I said what I said, and I know my future me would still love me.

If it doesn't hurt someone's feelings or yourself, I would say, don't delete old posts. They are still a part of you and we should hold on to every memory we have of every versions of ourselves, a hoarder of our own traces.