Social Media

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I've been easing my way back to social media after going cold turkey two years ago. It has been surprisingly easy, emotionally. 


I guess I can never go back to instagram unless they fix their shit. I think it has banned me from instagram after I've abandoned it for so long. I was only gone for two years, but I can feel instagram punishing me. I've tried for hours to get back in, I almost cried out of frustration, but then I reminded myself, maybe this is a sign, it's protecting me from something. I just got to believe it, cause there's no other choice. But of course I have another private account where I posted daily, and I could access that account without a hitch. After being on that account for a few days, my conclusion is that, I didn't miss out much and it's so boring. So, I've deleted instagram. I'm still frustrated and kinda sad about not being able to access my main account, I mean I probably will abandon it again, but not having the choice to abandon it makes me mad. It's like a party I don't even want to go but not being invited is ticking me off.


I've decided wechat and whatsapp will be my social media now. Wechat is so nice because I can post without all those advertisements distracting me. Facebook has too many stuffs. I logged in for a while yesterday, didn't even check the messages or looked at any posts. The thought to stalk people crossed my mind, but I wanted to delete everyone instead, but got too lazy halfway through.


I have mastered self-control against the lure of social media. But to be honest, I really want to meet new people and make new friends, and social media is the only option now. Meeting new people and forging new friendships is how we learn new things and grow, it's in our nature to crave socialising. My extroverted side is bursting with anxiety, but I can't bring myself to chat online. I need to feel the vibe, the aura of presence. I'm a touchy-touchy, stand-too-close kinda person. When things are better, I'm going to be like a predator, seeking out all those people I've missed out in the pandemic. 


I hate being behind a screen, somehow it gives me more anxiety than staring directly into someone's eyes and asking awkward questions. 


In conclusion, I'm content with my blog and wechat. If I'm back to social media, it's probably because I have a crush to stalk. 

I love to carve my mind into words, to trace my heart on paper. Here, to type as my voice sings inside my head. Embarking on an adventure of self acceptance, self love, self improvement and soul searching. I wish to share it, the ups and downs. Perhaps I could inspire someone to finally start their overdue pilgrimage, or to be a friend to someone who is on the same hike. Expect personal stories, lessons learned, controversial opinions, fanfictions, honest reviews and emotional rants. You can call me Tortoise! FUN FACTS ABOUT ME: *Age:23 (still as confuse as ever!) *Zodiac sign:Cancer *Personality: INFP-T *Goodreads:https://www.goodreads.com/tortoiseteoh

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